Welcome to another episode of “Things I Hate About Craigslist Personals!” Not that this shitty behavior is limited to Craigslist, but that’s what I was reading when I remembered how much I hate the phrase “just being honest”.
You’re not being honest, you’re being fucking rude
People use this phrase when they’ve just said something they know is offensive, but they don’t want to deal with the consequences of being a douche.
“Like my tittle says im just being honest…im looking for a woman u see I used that word because I dnt have time for little girl games, so im looking for a lady that can be my gf but that dnt mind that I have a man..”
She doesn’t have time for “little girl games” but she’s advertising in W4W for a partner for herself and her boyfriend? No, she’s not being honest, she’s being entitled.
“I tend to like females who are cute, healthy, fun, 18-30′ish and with big boobs. I recently had a young girlfriend with big boobs and I enjoyed it quite a bit (just being honest).”
This guy is 47 but he’s only looking for women 1/2 – 2/3 his age with big boobs. He goes on and on about how much he likes busty women (I cut most of his post to spare you), but he never manages to talk about women, including his ex,1 as anything more than a set of (big, did he mention he likes big?) tits.
He’s not being honest, he’s objectifying women. He didn’t even have the decency to put this bullshit in casual encounters.
“Just being honest” is an apology
Someone shares something about themselves or politely states a preference and then immediately apologizes with “just being honest”. I see this all the time, and while it’s not rude, it doesn’t show you at your best if you’re apologizing for being who you are.
“I also have a very high sex drive just being honest.”
It is okay to have a high sex drive — especially if you’re advertising for a hookup on Craigslist. However, there’s never any reason to apologize for your sex drive; compatible sex drives are hugely important in any relationship. Just be judicious about when you mention it: it’s cool to say so right away if you’re looking for a friend with benefits, 2 but wait until sex comes up organically if you’re looking for a more traditional relationship.
“this is all new to me, I am a little slow on how to do this I am just being honest”
New to online dating? Dating for the first time in a very long time? Never tried Craigslist before? There’s no need to apologize for any of that. If you’re polite, practice good communication, and treat others the way you want to be treated, you’ll learn quickly with a minimum of misunderstandings or hurt feelings.
“I prefer the corporate/fashion type. Call me shallow but im just being honest in what i want!”
Speaking as someone with only one real pair of heels (they look fantastic with my maid uniform), I’m never going to call you shallow just because you prefer someone else’s fashion sense. Looks do matter and it’s important to be attracted to your date. As long as you express your preferences politely, without bashing people who don’t match those preferences, there is no need to apologize for this.
Many people seem to believe that it is rude not to be physically attracted to everyone, regardless of body type, fashion sense, or other physical characteristics. No. Just no. You get to be attracted to who you’re attracted to. You do have to respect other people and their own preferences, but you don’t have to share them.
I recently started using Bloglovin’ and I’m enjoying it. You can follow me here, but who should I be following? Self-promotion encouraged.
Under no circumstances is it a good idea to mention your ex in your personal ad.↩
Unless you harp on it incessantly. I once had lunch with a guy as a pre-sex meet and greet and he spent the entire time talking about his high sex drive and big cock and how hard it was to find a woman who could take all the sex his enormous cock needed. After 45 minutes of talking about nothing but his sex drive, I never wanted to see him again.↩